Dispatch: Columbus…


spoke with an army medic who is getting ready to ship out for his second tour in iraq…bagdad to be precise…i resisted asking about…over there…i’m sure every stranger he meets is all over him with questions…but then…he brings it up himself…so from his mouth…to your eyes…my third party report from an army medic who’s served in iraq…

he’s focused on his mission…saving lives…but…he doesn’t want to be there…he doesn’t think we should have gone there in the first place…he doesn’t get out of the green zone often…except to provide medical aid to iraqi citizens…who don’t want us there…the winning of hearts and minds…the facilities are first rate…which keeps troop morale up…and their minds off all the death and dismemberment…well…unless someone you know has been blown to bits…anyway…it’s more dismemberment than death…lots of blown off limbs…amputees, he says…and now that the…insurgents…have added suicide bombing to their arsenal…the field hospital…which just got moved to one of saddam’s palaces…is a lot busier…he just wants to do his time and come back home…

Dispatch: Kansas City…


by the age of 15 i had tried a variety of beers and liquors…none of them made me want to drink again…all of it tasted nasty…until Vatorade came along…we used to drink it during lunch at my…shitty minimum wage teenage job…here’s the recipe…

32 oz of your favorite flavored sports drink…
your favorite mid-range vodka (don’t waste top shelf on this…anything that has a goose, a painter, or frosted glass on the bottle…save those for martinis…and stay away from any vodka that comes in a plastic bottle…use that stuff for cleaning fluid…)

drink up to three fingers worth off the top of the sports drink…that’s anywhere between 1-3 inches…
pour vodka in to fill…(careful here…we don’t want any alcohol poisonings…)

and…enjoy…

Dispatch: Indianapolis…


Happy. Sliders…there’s nothing else like em…i know i’ve left the west behind when i get my first taste of white castle…some facts you may not know about white castle…
White Castle was the first fast food restaurant…
the first to sell one million and one billion hamburgers
white castle created the paper cook hat…

Dispatch: St Louis…


Pissed.
Black Folk. Damn. Look, I know we don’t get many opportunities…to be the man…but when you have a well paid union job…you’re protected…you’re doing well…being the man is no excuse to have attitude…and tell your customers…that you don’t care…actually…when you’re the man…that’s the moment to go further…do more…act like you earned what you have…otherwise…what was all that hard work for…