and especially here… https://jpjscribe.com/2016/11/11/because-now-is-the-time/ Rule 4 and Rule 6 are in full effect. I have too much to lose to be out in these streets, fighting. I have too much to lose to not be…
For now, I’m trying to listen to the higher voices that speak to me. I’m really trying. I’m not ready for what Burroughs called “the end of words.”
For some reason, this album has been on my mind lately. I remember the second half being particularly strong. (from Gear Jammin’ Hero to Black Death on a White Horse.)
I suppose the provocative band name is what made me pull the cassette off the shelf. It was probably one of the last pre-recorded cassettes I ever bought. By that time, most of my music was on CD. Of course, I can’t find it streaming anywhere now. Thank god for Discogs.
This is a great example of how great packaging can stop you in your tracks, and a better example of how what’s inside should surpass what’s on the outside.
I have allies. Friends that connect me to opportunities, loved ones who try to take care of me (as much as I’ll allow…), family members who reach out to me, and strangers often surprise me with kindness and generosity. On any given day, there’s at least one other person trying to do the right thing on my behalf.
Sometimes, that’s easy to forget. The struggle is real these days. Beyond wrestling with this nonsense puzzle of a country we live in, my days are filled with the stress and demands of raising a child, trying to make a living, and keeping my debtors at bay. Just like everyone else. Add in the focus required to create meaningful storytelling, and… It’s amazing I can remember where I left my whiskey.
I keep myself so isolated. I have to reach down deep to pull these words out of me. The outside world can feel like a distraction from that. Yet, nothing is created in a vacuum. I need to actively engage in conversation with the world. Otherwise, the whole endevour becomes ethereal and one way. A ghost shouting through the veil.
Some days it’s not enough to believe in myself. It’s important to remember the people who know my value, the ones who care enough to help me keep my head out of my ass. Here’s to you.