Dispatch: Kansas City…


by the age of 15 i had tried a variety of beers and liquors…none of them made me want to drink again…all of it tasted nasty…until Vatorade came along…we used to drink it during lunch at my…shitty minimum wage teenage job…here’s the recipe…

32 oz of your favorite flavored sports drink…
your favorite mid-range vodka (don’t waste top shelf on this…anything that has a goose, a painter, or frosted glass on the bottle…save those for martinis…and stay away from any vodka that comes in a plastic bottle…use that stuff for cleaning fluid…)

drink up to three fingers worth off the top of the sports drink…that’s anywhere between 1-3 inches…
pour vodka in to fill…(careful here…we don’t want any alcohol poisonings…)

and…enjoy…

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