hey amateur…listen up…

yeah, that’s you fucko…i know the trains are all shiny and new…and that you only really use them to act like a tourist downtown…but that’s no excuse to ride like a schmuck…

here are a few helpful hints to make the lives of your fellow commuters a bit easier…

#1 – if every seat is taken, move to the middle of the car…try not to create a knot of human flesh right in front of the doors…pretend that you are a thinking, breathing human being…and not cattle…

#2 – if you are sitting in said taken seat…amid a full car…get up and offer it to someone who really needs it…the aged, the infirm, a mother with an arm load of kids and groceries…you selfish bastard…

#3 – if the train pulls into the station…the doors open…and it’s so full that it’s asses and elbows everywhere you look…don’t try to stuff yourself on anyway…there’s another one coming in 15 minutes…and it will probably be empty…relax…breathe the fresh air…lord knows i don’t want to have to inhale your overpriced, over applied eau de cologne…as you step on my foot…

as a matter of fact these very same rules apply to the bus…not that you would ever deign to find yourself on one of those…thank god…at least poor crazy drunks have more manners than you…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: