Archive

social skills

I have allies. Friends that connect me to opportunities, loved ones who try to take care of me (as much as I’ll allow…), family members who reach out to me, and strangers often surprise me with kindness and generosity. On any given day, there’s at least one other person trying to do the right thing on my behalf.

Sometimes, that’s easy to forget. The struggle is real these days. Beyond wrestling with this nonsense puzzle of a country we live in, my days are filled with the stress and demands of raising a child, trying to make a living, and keeping my debtors at bay. Just like everyone else. Add in the focus required to create meaningful storytelling, and… It’s amazing I can remember where I left my whiskey.

I keep myself so isolated. I have to reach down deep to pull these words out of me. The outside world can feel like a distraction from that. Yet, nothing is created in a vacuum. I need to actively engage in conversation with the world. Otherwise, the whole endevour becomes ethereal and one way. A ghost shouting through the veil.

Some days it’s not enough to believe in myself. It’s important to remember the people who know my value, the ones who care enough to help me keep my head out of my ass. Here’s to you.

Thanks.

“To imagine what it might be like to be a mother or a father to our children is not much different to imagining what it might be like to live in California. We are likely to focus more of our attention on the good things about being a parent and less so on the bad things about being a parent, perhaps because of the belief that children bring happiness. What this theory is implying is that we are likely to become happier with our life – and this will be much more so than usual because of the focusing illusion – the moment we find out we are about to become a parent, which could be up to nine months before the birth of our child. Reality (e.g. more time spent changing dirty nappies than seeing them smile for the first time) will likely kick in, however, almost as soon as we or our partner give birth to our child, which will lead to a considerable drop in well-being afterwards.”

here’s the full article

(via constant siege)

we all tell ourselves little lies…maybe about who we are…maybe about other people…most of the time these lies are just props to get us by for a short time…eventually, they help us get to the truth about ourselves…and others…sometimes these lies end up crippling us…or turn into cages…the worst lies are the ones that others make up for us…and we accept them without question…they become cheap suits that fall apart upon the most cursory inspection…

all of this is prelude to me coming across someone today who’s whole life is nothing but falsehood…i know people like this exist outside of books and movies, but to come to know one personally…that’s still a little mind blowing…

it takes balls…or more pleasantly, chutzpah…to present yourself to the world…when everything about your presentation is fraudulent, fake, and illusory…and never once blinking, stuttering, or wavering…as if no one will ever see through you and find out the truth…

knowing the truth, my first reaction is to be immensely entertained…when the laughter subsides…i don’t know how i feel about this person…scorn is appropriate…respect is taboo…mostly, i’m just curious about the psychological logistics of how this kind of person works…

and you can be sure i’ll find a way to write about such a character…

oh arrogant bastard…help me find a way to summarize the events of the previous week…

so monday night i sat down to watch Talk to Me…the 2007 movie about the life of Mr. Petey Greene…as directed by Kasi Lemmons…this movie sat next to the dvd player for a month…why…because while i dig anything Don Cheadle steps in front of the camera for…and Ms. Lemmons previous work…especially Eve’s Bayou…struck me as the work of a director with a strong voice…if needing to grow over time…but this one fairly shouts…VANITY BIOPIC…which rarely works out…for the audience…so when i sat down to watch the movie…i had a book in my lap…just in case…

here’s what i thought worked about this movie…the performances…Cheadle and Chiwetel Ejiofor play the difficult friendship between their two characters with authenticity…Petey Greene, ex-con, ex-drug dealer, had a PHD from the streets…Dewey Hughes, at least this movie’s version of him, is cut from the same cloth as Sidney Poitier’s…New Negro…you don’t see this class tension among black folk played out very often in a piece of mainstream entertainment…and it rings true here because the two leads hit all the right notes without playing to stereotype…not too much anyway…the poolhall scenes are the heart of their relationship…

there are some excellent moments from director Lemmons as well…especially a recreation of a Tonight Show appearence by Greene…and some deft work around a James Brown concert after the MLK assassination…

really though, that’s all i can recommend about this movie…Taraji Henson is wasted here on a cardboard thin character…Lemmons direction is flat most of the way…too often relying on montage…and the actors are the only thing that keep some of the dialog from being laughable…i won’t even mention the inaccuracies…others have done a good job already

i ended up not reading that book in my lap…i didn’t get carried away by this movie either…mostly, it made me think about my friend shoun…well…i should say he’s someone i try to be a friend to…i can’t say he’s done too much to reciprocate…and it was weird that he contacted me that night…his health is not good…which is a shame because he’s a talented young black man…i’d like to see him become an old black man…and what he can do with his talent during that time…maybe he’ll try to take care of himself…

meanwhile, life goes on…and on of the perks of being a volunteer for the Denver International Film Festival…is the occasional free screening…this year it was Surveillance from director Jennifer Lynch…yes, David Lynch’s daughter…i walked in knowing nothing about this movie…i didn’t know until the credits who the director was…and what a craptastic way to spend an hour and a half…nihilistic and condescending towards rural people…especially cops…i nearly walked out…instead, i waited and hoped for this movie to redeem itself…it didn’t…

there are movies that are guilty pleasures…cheap tawdry rhinestones that aspire to nothing more than entertainment…and they succeed…

and there are films that are difficult to watch…but reward you for your time and effort…

but a movie like Surveillance is just toxic waste…

okay…that’s enough outta me…sincerely, your glorious arrogant bastard…

happy thanksgiving…

yeah, that’s you fucko…i know the trains are all shiny and new…and that you only really use them to act like a tourist downtown…but that’s no excuse to ride like a schmuck…

here are a few helpful hints to make the lives of your fellow commuters a bit easier…

#1 – if every seat is taken, move to the middle of the car…try not to create a knot of human flesh right in front of the doors…pretend that you are a thinking, breathing human being…and not cattle…

#2 – if you are sitting in said taken seat…amid a full car…get up and offer it to someone who really needs it…the aged, the infirm, a mother with an arm load of kids and groceries…you selfish bastard…

#3 – if the train pulls into the station…the doors open…and it’s so full that it’s asses and elbows everywhere you look…don’t try to stuff yourself on anyway…there’s another one coming in 15 minutes…and it will probably be empty…relax…breathe the fresh air…lord knows i don’t want to have to inhale your overpriced, over applied eau de cologne…as you step on my foot…

as a matter of fact these very same rules apply to the bus…not that you would ever deign to find yourself on one of those…thank god…at least poor crazy drunks have more manners than you…

ms scribe and her lady friends gathered this morning for brunch…so we the husbands and boyfriends decided to have our own brunch…man brunch…mrunch…

now it’s no mystery that i’m socially inept…one on one…i’m good to go…performing in front of a group…no problem…in a group of three or more…i’m an idiot…

but i try…anyway…

so i end up opening my mouth…and thinking…what the hell did i just say…is it possible to say something more inane…i mean…tv shows…websites…movies…bullshit…

i’d much rather keep my mouth shut…

then i’m unsocial…aloof…arrogant…

chit chat…it’s a no win game…fuck it…

pen and paper never fail me…

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
that’s me…that thing i said…about buying me a drink…you might want to think twice about that…because…I HAVE ISSUES…

  • Johnny Cash Loves You!
  • %d bloggers like this: