i was going to take today off…

but this bitch heya is so live…she cannot be ignored…if this sample don’t make you throw up in your own mouth…you are beyond help…seriously…

“Friday, March 18th, 2005

12:31 am
What a fucking shithole
Life is sucking greasy mule sac. So there’s this “emergency” at work which I won’t go into because it’s really fag, but it boils down to this: Some assmunch totally jacked me with a sandpaper doubledong, held up my project to a savagely unprofessional degree, and it’s due Saturday. So they had to fly me down here to fuck shit up and sew vaginas back together again”

um…let me put my colon back in…damn…

Johnny Cash Loves You!

in my headphones this week…

keep your daze out my weak…

go ahead envy me…

…all the things that might have been, god forgive me if I cry

hello?…fuckin’ phones!

it’s my world till it’s time to leave…

Johnny Cash Loves You!

random new york moments…

back home now, so here’s the other…not so important…but somewhat fascinating…tidbits from the last four days…

saw this on the train…ashes and snow…interesting…

this kicks ass…story corps…please support them…it should be nationwide…

i love the mets new marketing campaign…next year is now…you gotta be kidding me…all of a sudden they can erase years of…neglected talent…mismanagement…overpriced loafers…sigh…it’s gonna be a long summer…they might make a good showing…and if they manage to sneak into the playoffs…i don’t expect much…

i really like my brother’s taste in art…

i needed to kill some time…so i caught the new woody allen picture…hey, i was in manhattan…here’s the thing…the last time i had a good time watching a woody allen movie was deconstructing harry…it was smart…it was funny…when i heard the premise of this one…i was intrigued…the same story is told as a tragedy…and as a comedy…stories about storytelling…metastories…can be very entertaining…think adaptation…think deconstructing harry…so i went in optimistic…too bad…

the tragedy part was dull…and the comedy part…while funny…just couldn’t send it home…will ferrell helps…a lot…but…all the while i kept thinking about how much funnier…poignant…it would have been to have woody playing the woody allen role…nonetheless…ferrell did an excellent job…it’s a thankless task pretending to be woody allen…overall the whole thing felt like a first draft…an excellent opportunity to do something fun and stimulating…just not this time…

then, to my surprise…scientologists…in the subway…offering free stess tests…with their funky machines…right next to racks of the dianetics book…i think the last time i saw such aggressive recruiting tactics was when i joined the marine corps…

this has to be my favorite part of manhattan…

i don’t really know why…

maybe it has to do with the fact that this was the neighborhood my father grew up in…before they tore it down…to build lincoln center…this is where they shot the exteriors for west side story…this is where my grandfather moved his family to…from new jersey…and made his name as the hottest jazz pianist of his time…

i don’t know…i just like it here…there’s something about it…

that was my trip to new york…not counting all the hospital and family stuff…

Johnny Cash Loves You!

things fall apart…


we fall apart…nothing lasts…everything is temporary…the body has its own clock…every life has its own momentum…most of the time, we get to decide how…if not when…our string will run out…pick your poison…lung cancer…heart disease…liver/kidney failure…diabetes…bone cancer…people in their 20’s 30’s and 40’s make these decisions everyday…and those seeds come to fruition during their 50’s 60’s and 70’s…this is what i am witnessing now…it is not the first time i’ve seen it…

some might say this is a hopeless attitude…hope…is optimism in the face of overwhelming eviidence to the contrary…i am hopeful…the fact remains…life is cheap…people are born…and die…everyday…the only meaning…value…any single life has is what that person has created for themself…

Johnny Cash Loves You!

after ping ponging

from denver to c springs and back to denver…

I get a direct flight to LGA…joy…

a long time ago i gave up trying to cut direct paths to the places i want to be in life…besides…wandering is more interesting…i can’t complain…these tix are from miles earned by my best friend the comedian…ten years of hard work…shitty clubs…lonely miles on the road…unlike me, Tommy craves stability…and he has sacrificed it because he loves making people laugh…

then there’s me…chaotic…crass…selfish…and along comes this woman…

could i be luckier…

anyway…New York…

it keeps pulling at me…my foster father…the man who took me into his home…made me a part of his family…has cancer…he’d have to be lance armstrong young and tough to walk away from this one…i hope i’m welcome by his side…i want to make peace…let him know that i love and respect him…

Johnny Cash Loves You!