what I've learned from the police…(pt 2)

being a scofflaw is expensive…example: ticket for busted tailight…$60…replacement taillight…$6…for most of my twenties, my driving record was spotted with tickets and violations…speeding…dui…whatever…i got tired of paying for tickets…insurance…gas…so i sold my car and spent most of my thirties…riding my bike…yeah, i’m that cool…

believe it…despite my lack of a ride…and a prestigous carreer in customer service…i had no problem meeeting women…six years ago…i even found myself with…a girlfriend…she was sexy…smart…semi successful…and self destructive…obviously…she was dating me…

anyway, one night i was riding over to her place…and cops rolled up and pulled me over…on my bike…maybe you can imagine my ire…i managed to maintain my composure…even when they gave me the ol…you match the description…line of bullshit…

they ran my license…and unpaid tickets and missed court appearances finally caught up to me…they handcuffed me and put me in the backseat…

then they showed me a security picture of the guy i was suppposed to look like…he was taller…darker…and heavier…the only thing we had in common was our shaved heads…and oh yeah…he was black…

this is when i lost it…one of the cops was black…and i really let loose on him…about how he should know better…about how he should be ashamed of himself…they gave me the…yeah, yeah, whatever…and took me to the police station…

i knew i was wasting my time…and my breath…but i was tired…tired of cops exaggerating traffic violations…tired of being asked if they could search my car…tired of everything…

what did i get out of venting all this frustration…a weekend in jail…a suspended license…and a debt of several hundred dollars to my new girlfriend after she bailed me out…

it costs too damn much…all this wild freedom…

what I’ve learned from the police…(pt 2)

being a scofflaw is expensive…example: ticket for busted tailight…$60…replacement taillight…$6…for most of my twenties, my driving record was spotted with tickets and violations…speeding…dui…whatever…i got tired of paying for tickets…insurance…gas…so i sold my car and spent most of my thirties…riding my bike…yeah, i’m that cool…

believe it…despite my lack of a ride…and a prestigous carreer in customer service…i had no problem meeeting women…six years ago…i even found myself with…a girlfriend…she was sexy…smart…semi successful…and self destructive…obviously…she was dating me…

anyway, one night i was riding over to her place…and cops rolled up and pulled me over…on my bike…maybe you can imagine my ire…i managed to maintain my composure…even when they gave me the ol…you match the description…line of bullshit…

they ran my license…and unpaid tickets and missed court appearances finally caught up to me…they handcuffed me and put me in the backseat…

then they showed me a security picture of the guy i was suppposed to look like…he was taller…darker…and heavier…the only thing we had in common was our shaved heads…and oh yeah…he was black…

this is when i lost it…one of the cops was black…and i really let loose on him…about how he should know better…about how he should be ashamed of himself…they gave me the…yeah, yeah, whatever…and took me to the police station…

i knew i was wasting my time…and my breath…but i was tired…tired of cops exaggerating traffic violations…tired of being asked if they could search my car…tired of everything…

what did i get out of venting all this frustration…a weekend in jail…a suspended license…and a debt of several hundred dollars to my new girlfriend after she bailed me out…

it costs too damn much…all this wild freedom…

your word of the week fron the journal…

ironic: incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result (2) : an event or result marked by such incongruity b : incongruity between a situation developed in a drama and the accompanying words or actions that is understood by the audience but not by the characters in the play — called also dramatic irony, tragic irony

as in: the job i took so that i could…afford to see a doctor…something i haven’t done in 10 years…has created a situation where i…had to…see a doctor…which has become a situation that may or may not…seriously need…a doctor’s attention…

or maybe it’s all just…coincidence…hopefully…just a simple matter of…serendipity…

if writing were a woman…

our relationship would be a mess…ive neglected her…ignored her…cheated…pimped…abused…and taken her for granted…and yet…she keeps coming back…whispering in my ear…telling me her secrets….expressing her faith in me…showing me new ways to think…see…feel…asking nothing in return…

thankfully, writing is not a woman…it would be difficult to respect a woman like that…

it is a habit…a practice…a craft…an art…i find that it requires…a discipline…that only takes hold in me…from time to time…

(a mea culpa, if you will…for my disappearance…my life…my health…has taken center stage and this…this exercise in vanity…and other flights of fancy…had to be put away for a minute…it’s all about priorities…anyway…i’ll get my shit together soon enough…so i can be…again…just another distraction in a world of frivolous noise…)

now, more than ever…

i discovered politics during the jimmy carter 70’s…i knew who ford was…and i had heard of nixon…but i didn’t really begin to grasp the concept of politics until the peanut farmer…and while times were rough…and he blundered the whole hostage thing…i never felt like any of the adults around me faulted carter for how things were…

flash forward to my first vote…the way i saw it…there were three ways i could do it…i could vote for personality…the person i liked…i could vote for politics…the party that served my interests…or…i could vote for my principles…the things i believe in…

nothing else stood for what i believe in more than the libertarian party…i understood that the libertarians weren’t likely to get elected…i understood that there were things about the libertarians that i disagreed with…and there have been some libertarians that were downright disgusting…none of that mattered…the way i saw it…the only thing that i cared about was the principle of the matter…

i understand now that was madness…the american political system has always been a very pragmatic one…it goes hand in hand with capitalism…it’s based on self interest…the candidate who can appeal to the interests of the most people…wins…and that person goes on to create and maintain…the best working form of government that they can negotiate…towards meeting the needs of those they represent…

ultimately…i have figured out that the libertarians don’t represent me…can’t represent me…because they have no practical voice in government…in order for me to have a government the most suits me…i need to support the party most likely to be able to make the changes necessary to do so…

watching what went down in new orleans…i now know that reducing government is not the answer…when you reduce government…there is no one there to pick you up when you fall…literally…so…it’s long past time for some change…

now more than ever…it is time for change…

as long as the democrats stand for fiscal responsibility…i’ll stand for them…

as long as the democrats stand for measured and thoughtful foreign policy…i’ll stand for them…

as long as democrats stand for the right to privacy…i’ll stand for them…

as long as democrats stand for preserving hard won civil rights…i’ll stand for them…

notice…this is not unconditional support…the dems have to…walk the walk…the have to stand up…and be for something…about something…otherwise…i’m still just throwing my vote away…