housecleaning…entry from 9.5.01…
a few details…
i’m a writer/filmmaker in the rocky mountain region
my work is informed by a variety of creative forces:
Thompson, Hunter & Jim
to name a handful.
i’ve been working in happy obscurity as an independent publisher and producer for five years.
i’ve been writing for over 15 years.
i have have a passion/weakness for women and alcohol.
this is my testimony.
dreams…dreams of others…dreams of mine…always good material…for instance: the dream a girl had of her teeth falling out…communication, but i have to lookt that one up…i’m sure there’s more to it…or the dream of a group of women standing together at a party…wake…and the daughter of the dead man asks her friends to have sex with her father…it seems he’s not dead, just in a coma…she hopes this will bring him to life…so they each take turns…hey, i didn’t make this up…or the dream of a gift that has been waiting for a boy for 23 years…kept secret from him by a greedy, manipulative step father…what more is there to say?
thank God for the words…i’ve been the same way since i was a kid…everytime i got comfortable/someone told me i was good at something, i dropped it and moved on…track, gymnastics, wrestling, acting, singing…and now the whole filmmaking/dj/graphicnovel thing is just more in a succession of things that i jumped into and got bored with…fucking dillettante…
thinking about it, relationships have been pretty much the same way…how can a man be a dilletantte with life? what does that come from? where does that lead to?
i am a dilletante…not with the writing, but the whole filmaking/dj thing is less rewarding/satisfying/fascinating than they once were…the words though, never go away…never
recent conversations with the best friend leave me leaning in these directions: marriage probably not for me, yet would love to be a father…chicago? not as things stand…lot o hottness here in the mile high city…hormones? boiling over…to be released